hopelesshappiness.com

Ungainly, clumsy, awkward, without skill or grace, gawky, unwieldy, heavy-handed, inept, plundering, frivolous, bumbling, bungling, clownish, loud, insensitive, unaware, self-absorbed. To varying degrees, we are all many of these things often; most especially when we disconnect from reality. Reality is dispassionate and impersonal. Reality is serious and should be driven by fact. If opinion plays a part in defining reality it must be consensus, expert opinion substantiated by underlying facts. Unverifiable personal opinion, even if consensus and/or logical, is likely from a false premise, thus not reality. Today, in this country, it feels like a very large majority of us operate from a framework of unverifiable personal opinion, and if one accepts (as I do) that capitalism is a false premise, then we are all delusional.

All that said, I am not suggesting that one never unplug from reality. I do it for my sanity and so I can reasonably function in this world we have made.

That said, there are some, (perhaps many and perhaps a majority), of us who appear to be permanently unplugged. It is difficult for me to read or keep up with national news that overwhelmingly reflects this disconnect. It is difficult for me to reasonably function in a system, and alongside individuals, that is and who are constant reminders of our mass delusion.

That said, this disconnect is reality and I should pay closer attention to what is happening and I should learn and improve so I can work and contribute in ways that better reflect our reality.

That said, it is difficult…

Each week I pretend nothing is something.

Dear World-at-Large, enclosed you'll find my soul

Forgive that I've imposed upon your time

I know you tire of vapid thoughts unwhole

Hence I submit this rapid writ in rhyme

To introduce my written work with heed

I pray you will be smitten by its charm

Your glassy eyes and addled mind thus freed

A cleft thus closed and straddled arm-in-arm

So please peruse, reflect and keep in mind

It is with great respect I've honored you

This glimpse into my flame that's intertwined

With joy, esteem, and shame that I accrue

I'll shout and sing and dance as my hope soars

I thank you for this chance, sincerely yours

Public consensus is I am dying; yet I believe I am still living - and I (to this point) still act in accordance with my belief. At what point will I be swayed by either public consensus or my body's betrayal? Or a combination of both?

I think 60 is the approximate age when the world starts to turn away, especially in new relationships and circumstances, and in opportunity; and, the larger the age / maturity gap between me and power, the more pronounced the lack of consideration.

I think the body's betrayal technically begins the moment one is born but is not recognized as such until it consistently or constantly reminds one of their mortality. Then, by adding one's own mortality to the relationship equation an adversarial dynamic is created that further widens the gap between the individual mortal and the largely immortal public thus making it even more difficult for one to choose to act in accordance with living as opposed to giving in to dying.

Immortals have no time for dying and they resent anyone who is a reminder that it might be a thing. So they turn away and wave their hand peripherally at those reminders and assign us the role of dying so they may live large.

I continue to seek opportunity, new circumstance to contribute, to feel fulfilled; I will continue to act in accordance with living. And, based on recent experience, I will continue, (especially in new circumstance and often in everyday circumstance), to feel ignored, humored, restricted, and sometimes pitied - as if I am dying.

They might deserve something but they don't deserve this.

The best possible reason (perhaps the only reason) to own land is to avoid landlords.

The worst possible reason to own land is to be a landlord.

Property as an investment perpetuates capitalism which in turn encourages inequity; and often iniquity.

Ignorance is simply not knowing; stupidity is refusing to acknowledge one's own ignorance and further refusing to seek out ways to remedy one's own ignorance.

For the world so loved wealth, that we hoard all our ill-gotten gains, and whosoever believeth in power will not cherish life, but will have everlasting, unremedied ignorance.

To be judged harshly for ignorance is harsh. To be judged at all for stupidity is a selective, unjust process driven by power.

We pat ourselves on the back convinced that our cause for justice is noble, when in actuality the object is merely to win.

We are always rushing - in a hurry. To what end?

Power is stupid.